Nifty Coleslaw

Inspired by the vinegar coleslaw served at Ruby’s, I looked at some recipes on the internet and cobbled together a delicious Frankenstein of a coleslaw recipe.

I used cabbages and an onion I got at the farmer’s market near East 6th street.

Slaw:

  • 2 small green and 1 small purple cabbage, all sliced as thinly as you can manage
  • 2 carrots, grated
  • 1 yellow onion, minced
  • 1 jalapeno, minced, with the ribs removed. See safety precaution below.

Dressing:

  • 1 cup apple cider vinegar
  • Sploop of olive oil, carefully drizzled into vinegar while whisking up a storm
  • 2 powerful squeezes of honey
  • Juice of 1 lemon, de-seeded, for crying out loud
  • 1 tsp red pepper flakes
  • a few hearty grinds black pepper
  • 1/2 tbsp each: mustard powder, celery seed, kosher salt

Here all the ingredients, arranged in a beautiful still life.

I am an artist.

Art

While you must remove the white, fleshy innards of the jalapeno, feel free to scrape some of the seeds in for added heat (heat that will build if you leave your coleslaw a-chillin in the fridge). But be warned: These seeds contain the demon capsicum, which can burn your hands, and any part of your skin you might touch afterward (Gentlemen: The kitchen is a sensual place where anything can happen, but don’t put down a spicy pepper and immediately whip it out. Capisce?)  Wear gloves when you handle hot peppers, or ziploc bags fashioned into makeshift gloves. Wash your hands before you do anything, especially anything with eyes or contacts.

I don't have to wear gloves because I am a witch

I don’t have to wear gloves because I am a witch.

Note the brown funky leaf inconveniently in the middle of my cabbage. Thanks a lot, organic produce!

Monsanto where are you when I need you

Monsanto where are you when I need you

After all is said and chopped, this is a mayonnaise-free, leftover-friendly, crunchy, spicy bowl of cabbage wonder. I made way more than I had envisioned, trapping myself under a tsunami of coleslaw for the foreseeable future.

...and then I realized cabbage is farty

Coleslaw Death Star

I made it with the roast chicken I mentioned a couple days ago, and I ate the leftovers from that meal wrapped in excellent tortillas from HEB grocery for the next couple days and felt like a queen.

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